But my boyfriend is 19 years old and in the military. The struggles of dating a military person are real. I love him to death, but sometimes I struggle with being in a relationship with someone like that.
One of the things I struggle with is him being stressed out because of work. I hate it when people are worried or nervous our sick and there is not a thing in the world that I can do to help them. It's especially bad when he's texting me and I can tell that he's not his normal self. I can't really ask him what's going on because I know he can't tell me. It's super hard caring for him, but not knowing what you are caring for.
Another thing that is hard for me is that, due to the lack of communication at his work, his work schedule is super unsettled. We could plan for dinner and some hangout time during the week, but he could get a call that sends him into work at 2pm in stead of 7 am and then the whole evening would be ruined. And when he has a day off where we could do something together, he is too worn out from work to come and hangout. And I get that. Work messes with his sleep schedule so much that it is completely unregulated and sometimes non-existent.
There are days when I'm going through a ton of shit and it would help just to see him and I can't. But instead, I listen to him rant and get it all out of his system. I don't tell him when shit is bugging me because I don't want to have to worry about me on top of what he has to deal with. I know that many people tell me that its not a good thing to do that, and I know that. It's more of I've been single for so long that having people worry about/care for me (more than my family and close friends do), is just a little weird for me. I want to deal with my own shit myself...knowing full well I can't.
Another thing about dating a military guy is that he can't disobey orders. I know it makes me a little selfish when i think about this, but i honestly don't know how else I am supposed to act. If he gets orders to move, i won't be able to go with him...yet....but i don't want to lose him. I really don't want to think about what would happen in that case, and we've brought it up a couple times. He's had to assure me as I'm bawling my eyes out that he won't be leaving here in the near future and if he does we'll make it work. I'm just afraid of losing another person that is so close to me.
One of the weirdest things that I deal with while dating a military guy is the lack of affection in public. I am a very touchy/feely person and like to be shown this affection especially in public. But when he has his uniform on, he can only give me 3 seconds of affection. I mean he does draw out the syllables of the "Mississippi"'s, but its still not enough. there are times that i just need to hold him because i need that closeness that my family can't provide. It is just so hard with all the rules and regulations to have a regular relationship. But I love him and will never let him go.
No comments:
Post a Comment